


Florine Aluminum Lithium Nitrogen 4 Uranium

by Please No Portraits (GothAlbinoAngel)



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Bad Puns, Cute, F/F, Fluff, Flustered Jane Seymour, Kit and Cathy are in high school, Parent-Teacher Conferences, Puns & Word Play, seriously all the chemistry jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23021137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothAlbinoAngel/pseuds/Please%20No%20Portraits
Summary: Anon asked: Prompt: Kat is in high school and when Jane goes to the parent teacher night she realizes that the woman she has been dating for a few months is Kat’s Chemistry teacher and Kat walks in on them kissing. I’m a sucker for flustered Jane lol -🥰orAnne can't make it to Kit's Parent-Teacher Open House, so Jane goes in her stead and finds out something interesting. Gratuitous Chemistry Puns.
Relationships: Jane Seymour/Original Female Character
Comments: 5
Kudos: 93





	Florine Aluminum Lithium Nitrogen 4 Uranium

**Author's Note:**

> Alright! As a preface, I failed chemistry two years in a row and the only thing I really remember is that everything is measured in moles; the color spectrum is beautiful; fire doesn’t have a shadow because it’s made of gases; while regular fire can’t harm you if you pass your hand through the flame, blue fire will cut your fingers off, so don’t do that; equilibrium is a result of the system and the surroundings trying to balance temperature which is why ice freezes faster when you use hot water instead of cold water. So, with that in mind, here we go!
> 
> Nicknames: Kit - Howard, Cathy - Parr, Lina - Aragon, Chrissy - Jane’s girlfriend

“Janey, you gotta _promise!_ ” Kit pouted up at her.

Jane sighed as Cathy, Anna, and Lina snickered off to the side. All of them were in Anne’s kitchen. Anne herself couldn’t be here because it was opening night for a new show at the theatre. Usually, the group would be there to celebrate with her, but Kit and Cathy had parent-teacher Open House at their school, so Lina and Jane had to head to the event. Jane was going in Anne’s place for Kit, and Anna just wanted to tag along to keep the kids out of trouble. 

“Kitty, I _promise_ I won’t embarrass you in front of your classmates,” Jane said calmly. “But we _really_ have to go or we’ll be too late to talk to anyone.”

Kit nodded at her in agreement and everyone piled into Lina’s car. Cathy slipped an arm around Kit’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, Kit,” she reassured her. “I’m sure everything is going to be fine.”

Skeptical brown eyes turned up to her. “Jane tells _mom jokes_ , Cat,” she pointed out.

Cathy opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came to mind. “Okay, _yeah_ , but we can probably do damage control when that happens!”

“Hey!” Jane gasped from the front. “Keep that up, I’ll tell all of your teachers you two sleep with giant stuffies at night!”

“No you won’t,” Kit and Cathy deadpanned at the same time.

Jane huffed. They had her there. She would never do that, but it was worth a shot. “You two, I swear…”

That made Kit relax a little bit. As they made their way to the school, the group idly chatted about different things. How Kit and Cathy were doing in school, Jane’s latest date, Anna’s dog-training business, and the like. Naturally, it was punctuated with comments like, “math was created as a means of exploding brains,” “Jane, you really should bring her around for dinner,” and “Rottweilers are the best therapy dogs, right behind German Shepherds and you can _fight me_ on that, Lina!”

With very minimal fighting over dogs, they all made it to the Open House in one piece. Several cars were already in the parking lot, so it was somewhat difficult finding a spot, but once they were out, Lina and Jane took charge.

“Alright,” Lina said sternly as she led them all toward the school. “We’re going to group up. Cathy, Kit, you two go ahead and have fun with your friends. Cathy, don’t let Kit eat too much sugar or we’ll never get her to sleep. Anna, you and I are going to meet with Cathy’s teachers.” She looked to Jane. “Will you be alright meeting with Kit’s teachers on your own?”

“I’ll be fine,” Jane shrugged. She slipped a piece of paper from her pocket. “If I forget someone I should be talking to, I’ll just check out the list Anne gave me.” She turned to the others. “All of you, on your best behavior. You can goof off with your friends when their parents _aren’t_ here, understood?”

Kit and Cathy shuffled sheepishly. “Yes, Jane,” they chorused. Without a second thought, they both disappeared from sight, Cathy leading Kit toward the cafeteria.

Lina shook her head. “I hope this was a good idea,” she muttered. “Let’s go, Anna. See you soon, Jane.” They waved and were gone.

Jane smiled after them all before making her way down the hall. Thankfully, some of the older students had volunteered to pass out maps for any visitors who needed them. Jane accepted one and started off toward Kit’s History teacher.

Most of the hour passed pretty easily. Lina had more experience with these people and this sort of thing since getting custody of Cathy, but it was almost effortless for Jane to do it as well. For the most part, it was talking to teachers and listening to them describe their classes. Jane made sure to show them the note from Anne and they nodded in understanding.

Naturally, all of the teachers had nothing but great things to say about the girls. Kit and Cathy loved to learn, which all of the older queens knew already. Of course, Kit’s math teacher did mention that she sometimes struggled on some of the more complex problems, but that made sense as several students tended to. Jane joked with him about Kit’s knack for wrestling Cathy into helping her with math homework.

As she made her way from the English class (with cookies made by the teacher’s husband), Jane checked her list. It seemed she’d seen everyone except the chemistry teacher. Jane gave a soft chuckle at the thought. She could think of a few jokes she might be able to share with the teacher should the chance arise. Following the map, Jane waited outside the door while the teacher talked with a pair of parents. Once they left, she made her way inside.

And froze.

Bright green eyes widened when they fell on her and Jane couldn’t help the stunned grin that spread over her lips. “Chrissy?”

“Jane!” Christina, or Chrissy, stood upright as Jane moved closer. “I thought the molecules in the room were moving faster! Didn’t know it was because you were nearby!”

Jane’s cheeks darkened. She knew that one. The higher the temperature, the faster the molecules making up a given substance move. It was the line Chrissy had used on their third date.

Clearing her throat, Jane gave a wave. “It’s good to see you. I didn’t know this was the school you worked at!”

“Yup,” Chrissy leaned against a desk and eyed Jane curiously. “I didn’t know you had kids. How come you’ve never introduced me to the tykes? I’m not Bismuth and Telerium, you know. Well, unless it’s you and only if you ask.”

Jane gave a breathless laugh. Another one, of course. She settled on one of the desks. “I know that! I’m here for my… the closest I can call them is my nieces? They’re practically family. One of them, her guardian had a work arrangement and couldn’t come, so I’m here in her place.”

Chrissy nodded as she listened. “Makes sense,” she replied. “Well, I’m glad she couldn’t make it. Gives me a chance to refract enough to see your pretty face again.”

“You are too much,” Jane shook her head with a wide smile. Chrissy never passed up a chance to flirt with her, but she was working overtime on the puns tonight. “What if one of the other parents comes in and hears that?”

“Well, lucky me, then,” Chrissy purred, leaning closer and placing a hand on the desk was sitting on. “You’re the last parent I need to see tonight.”

Jane’s heart slammed against her chest as Chrissy’s breath ghosted over her lips. “I, um, I am?”

“Everyone else has already been by,” Chrissy explained. Her bright green eyes bore into Jane’s brown, so close, she could see the yellow flecks from the light shining in Jane’s gaze. “So you and I? We’re hydrogen, sweetheart.”

“Oh.” Well then. Chrissy cupped Jane’s cheek and Jane, for the life of her, couldn’t pull away. “We, ah, we shouldn’t,” she whispered, even as she leaned up closer. “Anyone could walk in…”

Chrissy chuckled. “Isn’t that part of the-?”

“If you say Florine, Uranium, and Nitrogen, I swear.” They laughed quietly, eyes not leaving each other.

Neither is sure which of them moved first, but the next thing either of them knew, Chrissy was planting butterfly kisses all along Jane’s lips, cheeks, and neck. Jane kept the noise to a minimum, only giving off soft gasps and small whimpers.

Meanwhile, at the entrance, Kit and Cathy were in the middle of a cookie eating contest when Lina and Anna strode up. Anna smirked at the two of them, looking very much like deer stuck in headlights, cheeks bulging with sweets. Lina, at least, tried to look disapproving.

“Your job was to _stop her_ from eating sugar,” Lina sighed, swiping one of the cookies from Cathy’s hands. “Not _join her_.”

“But she gave me the kitten pout!” Cathy pointed out through a mouthful. “How could I say no!”

Lina turned a stern gaze on Kit, ready to tell her off. She found big brown eyes gazing up at her, the pleading expression made even more adorable by Kit’s full cheeks. Anna and Cathy counted down on their fingers together and Lina sighed when they got to zero. “Okay, but _I’m_ not going to be the one explaining to Anne why you’re bouncing off the walls at one in the morning.”

Kit brightened and stuffed another cookie in her mouth. In the meantime, Cathy glanced around. “Weird, where’s Jane?” she asked in confusion.

They all searched around the entrance hall, but not a single sign of Jane’s favorite gray jacket was in sight. “Maybe she’s still talking with one of Kit’s teachers,” Lina murmured, glancing at Anna.

“Cathy and I can go find her,” Kit piped up, clapping her hands to rid herself of crumbs. “I know where all of my classes are, so we can find her faster.”

“Don’t make a stop at the cafeteria again,” Lina warned them. “Find Jane so we can get out of here.”

The two kids raced off. Kit made her way along the halls easily. With the school being mostly empty by now, getting to each of her classes was no trouble. Each room they passed either only had the teacher or was completely vacant. Heading for the science lab, Kit swung the door open.

And froze.

There, pressed against one of the desks, was Jane, fingers tangled in the lush brown hair of Kit’s chem teacher. Both stopped what they were doing as soon as Kit stepped inside, Ms. Clover’s hand stilling just under the hem of Jane’s shirt.

Cathy blinked at the scene and asked, “Are you… making out?”

Jane wished so desperately that she could sink into the floor at that moment. With cheeks as red as the lasagna sauce she made for dinner last night, Jane cleared her throat. “Uh, that is- this is, um… Yes?”

“With…” Cathy pointed a finger at Ms. Clover and her eyebrows pulled together. “The chem teacher…”

Chrissy gave a soft laugh and took a step back from Jane, running a hand through her hair. “You didn’t say Cathleen and Kit were your nieces,” she chuckled, helping Jane fix her jacket.

“You… you didn’t ask,” Jane mumbled. She stared hard at the floor as Kit and Cathy continued to watch them. “Um, what are- what are you two doing back here? Weren’t you heading to the cafeteria?”

“Well, we were, but Lina and Anna are waiting at the entrance for us all,” Kit responded. Cathy shot her a look and spotted a mischievous glint in Kit’s eye. Oh no.

Jane shot a glance to the clock and she straightened up. “Oh, it’s getting late.”

“You should head out,” Chrissy said, leaning against her desk. “Don’t wanna keep your friends waiting.”

“Yes, you’ve made me do that enough already, I’m sure.” Despite her still-pink cheeks, Jane smirked over at Chrissy.

“Fair!” Chrissy laughed. “I’ll see you two firecrackers Monday,” she called to Kit and Cathy. She leaned over to peck Jane’s cheek and whispered, “And I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Cathy didn’t hear what was said, but she saw Jane’s cheeks darken and she shook her head with a grin. Reaching over, she grabbed Jane’s hand and tugged her along. “Come on. Lina is going to have a field day if we don’t come back soon.”

Chrissy gave the trio a wave as they disappeared into the hall. On the way down the hall, Kit vanished for a moment before reappearing with more cookies in hand. Cathy snorted. “Anne is going to lose her mind trying to keep up with you.”

Jane gave Kit a stern look. “What did I say about sugar?”

“I can’t wait to tell Lina that Cathy and I caught you kissing our teacher in the chem lab,” Kit said calmly.

“I can make an exception just this once,” Jane squeaked, her complexion resembling a beet.

Cathy laughed. “I gave you the definition of _one word_ , and you’re already using it.”

“I’m a fast learner,” Kit responded as she held out some cookies for each of them. “It’ll be easier to hide these from Lina if we all have some. And cookies taste better when I share them.”

By the time they made it back to the entrance, Anna was on the phone chatting and most everyone had gone home. When the trio were spotted, Anna perked up. “Oh, our wayward souls are just heading over now. Kit should be home by the end of the next hour.”

“Is that Annie?” Kit gasped excitedly. She bounced in front of Anna and was delighted when the phone was handed to her. “Hi, Annie!”

Anne laughed on the other end of the line. She finished slapping together a sandwich and stuck it in the microwave as she replied, “Hey, Kitkat! How did the Open House go?”

“It was great!” Kit followed after the others as she gave her rundown of the night. “Cathy and I had a cookie eating contest, but Lina’s disappointed in me. Or Cat for not stopping me. Maybe both. My teachers dropped by the cafeteria occasionally to say hey, Cat and I met Jane’s girlfriend, and this one boy who likes flirting with Cat slipped in some spilled milk and accidentally threw a whole mini pie across the cafeteria.”

Seatbelts had _just_ clicked into place when three pairs of eyes snapped to Kit and one pair widened in Anne’s kitchen. Cathy, poor Cathy, was trying to stifle her laughter behind her hands and turned to the window to try playing it cool. Kit, for her part, continued as if this was perfectly normal.

“I’m glad they hold these things on Friday nights, though. Nobody wants to go to school on a day they didn’t have to.”

“Kitkat,” Anne said slowly, though the rest of the car could hear just fine with the volume up. “ _You met Jane’s girlfriend?_ ”

“Yeah, she’s my chem teacher.” Kit kept her face blissfully innocent as Anna and Lina now gaped at Jane in shock. “They were just finishing up their conversation when Cathy and I found them.”

There was silence on the other line for all of a moment before Anna and Anne asked, at the same time, “They were making out, weren’t they.”

“Yup!”

“Kit!”

“You don’t like it when I lie, Jane!”

Poor Jane sank into her seat, a hand covering her face. Thank goodness it was dark or they would probably compare her to a cherry. Kit wasn’t wrong. Jane didn’t like it when she lied. But now she would never hear the end of it.

No one said anything for a long moment before Lina said, “No wonder you’ve been making so many chemistry puns recently.”

The blush was going to become permanent.

**Author's Note:**

> Flustered!Jane is a gift I didn’t know I needed until I got this ask. I need to fluster her more often in the future.
> 
> Key: I know a lot of these are obvious, but just in case you missed a few…  
> –Florine Aluminum Lithium Nitrogen 4 Uranium - F Al Li N 4 U (Falling For You)  
> –molecules moving faster - higher the temperature, faster molecules move (Chrissy called Jane hot)  
> –Bismuth and Telerium - Bi Te (Chrissy doesn’t BITE)  
> –refract - refracting light is how humans see  
> –hydrogen - it only has a proton and an electron (it’s just you and me)  
> –Florine Uranium Nitrogen - F U N (part of the fun)  
> –The word Cathy taught Kit was ‘blackmail’


End file.
